I was working on still life paintings recently and was asked "What are you trying to say?" An interesting question. What does a still life say, besides a grouping of colorful random items? Does it say, "Oh, someone needs to clean up this mess" as if you just got up from breakfast? Does it say "Nice flowers," because you just couldn't let these flowers fade and die without immortalizing them? What is a still life for? I guess I always thought it was little more than an exercise. Something you do to prepare for the "real art", but now I see it is a little more. A still life says something about you, your environment, your state of mind, your thoughts about the universe and beyond. A still life is still about life. So what am I trying to say?
This is a hard question. I still don't know. I think I am trying to just survive at this point. To be able to share something meaningful and profound would be great but I don't think I'm that clever. I somethings wonder if I have anything at all to say. Suddenly I feel like that little girl, quietly sitting in the corner afraid to speak because I will be rebuked and rebuffed for interrupting the grown-ups. Why does this question make me feel so small? Maybe that's it. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that I feel so small.